What's Happening Here?

You reach 30, so do most of your friends ... and suddenly, a baby boom.

It seems most people I know are having babies, talking about babies, or are pregnant. It makes me feel like a weird tourist, pressing my face against a glass, looking in, and merely observing these happenings.

I for one, do not want children. I am as close to being maternal as Pluto is to the sun, even further would be more accurate! Now, here are my reasons why I do not want children, and I know I won't change my mind, no matter how far my internal clock is ticking:

1. Basic maths - why would I want to add to a global population bursting at 7 billion?
2. I'm selfish - I want my time and other resources to be spent on S.0 and I .
3. More goals - I feel I still want to study more, and by George, travel many more countries, and experience so much more...
4. Sleep - I love it, and I need a solid 8 to 9 hours a night - uninterrupted!
5. Maternal skills - I have nothing, nada, zilch, zero... it doesn't mean if I can show a lot of care to the adults in my life, that that is translated to showing it on children.
6. Logic - Some genes should NOT reproduce
7. My nature - I can't talk to, play with, or interact with anyone else's kids. I have not held a baby in my life. Children and I do not mix well at all.
8. Horror movie stuff - I have heard of the process of how the body changes during pregnancy, during birth, and even post childbirth. Horror movies sound more pleasant to me.

I am quite honest and vocal in these personal truths, and I hope I do not offend if it does not fit in with your point of view. And no matter whose child is put before me, these will still be my truths, unwavering, steadfast, and forevermore.

A Writer's Block

According to this article on Huffington Post, Jason Crombie recommends writers do the following: 

Drink

All the great writers drank like fish: Ernest Hemmingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ethan Hawke, etc. There's no point trying to write a single word sober, you'll only disappoint yourself and your family. Start the workday with a six-pack, and then work your way up to a bottle of Johnny Walker Black; that's when the magic happens.

Don't bother with rewrites

You've written it; it's there on the page, see? Job done. Now why in the name of heck would you do it again? To make it better? Don't be stupid. Ever heard of a little thing called, 'First thought, best thought'?

(Click here if you want to read more)

I found the tips refreshingly sarcastic and wonderfully entertaining. Then I stared at my computer screen and realised my writing has reached a horrible stagnant stage...and I cannot see beyond the murkiness. Fact is, I am not writing the way I should, the way I want to. This blog has suffered, and there are even blank pages in my diary, where the past year should have been documented... 

There was a time when words flowed out of me, when I did not struggle with every paraphrase and paragraph. That was when I did not second guess myself, and stare at blank word documents on my computer. I almost feel crippled by fear at the thought of jotting something down now. 

Life seems to have gotten in the way - too many things to juggle and I always have these points in the future (after the wedding, after I move house, after I settle in, when I am not so tired) that  I think I can write again.  My job has also put me in a formulaic mode of writing - making me, God forbid! - such a lazy writer. 

These are precisely my mistakes, aren't they? I have excuses instead of forging on. I have more reasons defending myself, than to persevere and prosper despite circumstances. Because, as Jason mentions in his first line, "Good writers write. They don't always write well, but they must write!" I suppose this is a good a start as any... 

I'm baaaack

Those times when work is all consuming, and you're working long hours and weekends, and that does not seem to be enough...that has been me over the past few months.

If you do not know what I do, I am a journalist. My career has veered off to an online medium in recent years and now I am in a role that involves certain South African TV shows - amongst them Idols and MasterChef. Being the online person, everything seen on the official websites and social media comes from my team and I. The new skill I picked up is live social media interaction over Facebook and Twitter during broadcast of these shows. It is nerve wrecking and exciting at the same time. But God help you if you make a typo - the online audience descend on it like vultures to a carcass! I cannot say it is my dream job, but hey, if it helps me pay the bills, so be it. If you're in SA and you watch these shows, you know they are over. So it is time for me to:

1. Pause.
2. Breath.
3. Learn to live my life again! I think I've forgotten...
4. Breath some more.
5. Get neck deep into my wedding planning.

I have also sorely neglected my wedding planning during this time. Now when I think about it, I begin to hyperventilate knowing that March 2013 is not at all far off (I am not counting December 2012 and January 2013 because everything comes to a standstill in those months). When I see my  to-do list, what I have ticked-off as complete seems far too little compared to what still has to be done. Sigh... (Ward off panic mode!)

The S.O* and I have also managed to find a place to stay! Can I get a round of cheers, please? And pop the champagne! I am so happy about that. I am so glad we are getting a chance to live out lives and not stay with the in-laws. They are great people, but I really do want us to have our own space. The paper work is still in process and we shall only move in once we are married. This is the part that I cannot wait for. The wedding itself I can do without, but this what is important to me - a life, together. Look at me, getting all soppy this early on a Tuesday. Hahaha...

What has Bloggerville been up to? What has changed? What is new? Please, do tell! You know, I've missed everyone!

*Significant Other.

Chocolate Monday: Week 12

I mentioned in my previous post how busy I have been and how much has happened during my Blogger-ville hiatus. One of the more recent events is that I turned 30! Ten years ago, it was an inconceivable thought. But, lo and bold, time sneaks up on you.

What's a birthday with no cake? So, I baked a chocolate one this weekend. The recipe itself is vegan friendly, but I used nutella as icing (my cheats way out to make baking faster) and I sprinkled flake on top. I gotta admit, I enjoyed this cake. And I do plan to make it again this coming weekend.

Almost vegan friendly chocolate cake. Images taken by Prixie. 

Do you have any baking tips? Do you have a go-to-recipe that always works? Have you baked without eggs? Let me know in the comment section!

Tag 2 of 2

Thank you Azra, for the tag and sorry for taking so long! I've been a bad blogger of late - and I blame work, fully!

Enough of that, though...here goes:

1. What is your favourite saying, or motto?
Face the sun and let the shadows fall behind you. - Not sure who said this.

2. What is your dream job?
A travel writer for National Geographic, or an established author of fairy-tales, science fiction, fantasy and other weird stuff.

3. What part of the world do you have little interest in travelling to? And which part of the world is next on your “list”?
I have no interest in places that are overly hot and too humid - that counts out most islands for me! I would love to do see the Northern Lights next.

4. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
London or New York.

5. When you travel, do you prefer to go to the city or the countryside?
Both.

6. What is the last thing you think about before falling asleep?
About my day, I suppose.

7. Are you a gardener, or a garden admirer? You can be both!
A little bit of both - I have a potted garden at the moment.

8. Do you enjoy cooking? If so, what are some meals you like to prepare when you entertain?
I adore cooking - it actually helps me to de-stress! :-/ I cook within my vegetarian diet, but folks do enjoy it. I often get asked for recipes. :)

9. Do you parallel park or drive around the block?
Drive around the block, so I can find one bay to alley dock into.

10. If there were 7 people from any time period you could invite to dinner, who would they be?
Jane Austen, Gregory David Roberts, Neil Gaiman, Pocahontas, Leonardo da Vinci, Desmond Tutu, Joss Whedon.

11. Have you ever written or would you like to write a short story, memoir, or novel?
I have scribbled down a few things, and yes, I would love to write a novel. There is only that pesky lack-of-time-and-discipline problem.

12. What kind of music helps you unwind?
Soft, soothing music.

13. When was the last time you cried?
Last week Saturday.

14. Which lyrics aptly describe your love life?
Okay, this is going to be corny and schmaltzy! S.O and I are getting married soon. I've never wanted to get married, so this entire experience is rather weird. Nevertheless I noticed, it has brought us closer. And we have both overcome many personal and joint problems to get to where we are. I am so proud of how S.O got his life back together, I feel astounded by his progress. I guess, Lonestar's Amazed are the perfect lyrics for now:


"I don't know how you do what you do, I'm so in love with you, It just keeps getting better, I want to spend the rest of my life, With you by my side, Forever and ever, Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you..."


15. What do you most enjoy about blogging, and what advice would you give new bloggers?
I enjoy blogging because it is a release from the daily grind. Sometimes the daily grind gets too much and I put blogging aside for a short while. I love the sense of community and the bonds formed. I love to share what I find interesting, to vent if need be, to share my opinion on matters. And hey, coming across like minded people!

New bloggers should start, and keep at it, when and where they can. Write from the heart!

Guest Post Chocolate Monday: Week 10

Image sourced here. 

The lovely Azra put up this pic on Facebook of a 5kg jar of nutella! Not even my best dreams make me this happy. It pleasantly haunted my memory (and taste buds) so I asked her to do a Guest Post for Chocolate Monday. She says:

"You have not lived until you've owned a 750g jar of Nutella... but a 5kg jar would also do! :)"

A gal close to my heart, that one. **Very content sigh**

Chocolate Mondays have been created to banish Monday Blues, or at least lessen the sting of a new working week.

Tag 1 of 2 - in recent tags

Raj  tagged me in the  7×7 Link Award. Thank you!

Basically, this is what needs to happen:

1: Tell everyone something about yourself that nobody knows.

2: Link to a post that fits the following categories: The Most Beautiful Piece, Most Helpful Piece, Most Popular Piece, Most Controversial Piece, Most Surprisingly Successful Piece, Most Underrated Piece, Most Pride-worthy Piece.

3: Pass this on to 7 fellow bloggers.

Right then, let me get to it.

1.
Hmmm...I almost studied Optometry instead of Journalism. I know, I know, those are worlds apart. Let's just say I had some family influence thinking I could do the former. Thank God I got back to my writing roots.

2.
Linking to these posts was more difficult than I realised. I have this blog since 2006 and by George, I cannot even remember what I used to post back then. It was also difficult to think of my blog posts in these terms too. Nevertheless I dug into the archives:

The Most Beautiful Piece: I hate thinking of my writing in these terms, but I really enjoyed writing this piece.

Most Surprisingly Successful Piece: Every damn year my parents have to remind me when I was conceived. Read that post here.

Most Helpful Piece: I like to to know everything about something I am interested in. And so it was with the Phantom of the Opera. Want to know more about how the story started in Paris? Read this.

Most Popular Piece: My most popular pieces in terms of views must be Chocolate Mondays. See them here.

Most Controversial Piece: I don't really do controversial.

Most Underrated Piece: I think this has to be it. Find it here.

Most Pride-worthy Piece: Again, it was difficult to think myself proud of my writing. However, I did feel proud of SA when I attended the opening of the Oprah Winfrey School. Read more  here.

3. 
Pass on to seven bloggers. Any takers? Especially if you have started thinking of your blog posts in these terms...go on and do this tag! Let me know.

I've been tagged

I am feeling rather popular - I have been tagged twice in a matter of weeks by the lovely Azra and the fascinating Raj.

This is a promise post that I will do the tags as soon as I possibly can. Work is currently giving new definition to the word 'manic'!

Thanks!

Chocolate Monday (on a Tuesday that feels like a Monday) - week 8

Image found here. 

If there is one thing I really do love about Easter is how everyone is into chocolate - as much as I am!  And the amount of goodies in the shops! **Swoon**

I must apologise too, for the long absence from Blogger-ville. It turns out I was retrenched from my previous job (much too stressful) and I was securing my new position. The finalisation of the retrenchment was quite sudden because my new company needed me to come in for training and I decided to take my leave in my notice period too. I have had a hiatus from the computer and boy, do I feel all the better for it. Now I am back at work, struggling to get used to a Macbook - I last used Apple computers years ago!

During my leave, I caught up on many chores and admin tasks. I know that sounds about as exciting as waiting for a pot of water to boil, but it was really needed, really! It also gave me time to continue with those dreaded wedding plans like meeting a dress maker and decorators for functions.  My type-A personality feels relief at having more things ticked off my to-list list.

It also gave me time to cook and bake at my leisure - which helped me de-stress greatly. I got back into my exercise routine and started to walk around the stadium track. Seeing the bluest sky, the grass, feeling the wind in my face and hearing the birds while exercising is extremely therapeutic.

The Female Sibling also jetted off yesterday on a holiday to India and Sri Lanka. I asked her to get a few things for the wedding: the invitations, gifts, saris and even my wedding outfit. I am temporarily staying at her house, dog-sitting her Jack Russell and Sausage Dog.  They are much too adorable!

I hope everyone had a lovely Easter break and overdosed on chocolates - perfect time to do so.

Chocolate Mondays have been created to banish Monday Blues, or at least lessen the sting of a new working week.

Chocolate Monday - week 6

Godiva truffles - LOVE!

The Lovely Azra  brought this to my attention this morning on Facebook. Could there be a better start to the week?

Chocolate Mondays have been created to banish Monday Blues, or at least lessen the sting of a new working week.

If I could shut my brain down for a bit, I would

Recently, I've been irritable, listless and needing some down time. Work wise, I have not really taken decent leave since April 2011 and you know what? I think I have reached the end of my tolerance threshold.

December was a crazy, and I mean an absolutely insane month, having taken on some responsibilities of a colleague who had resigned, plus having had new tasks added to that. Burnt-out and frustrated, that is what I am. I am also so annoyed by how companies everywhere are treating employees in this current economic climate - it is really not fair! It makes me want to punch many CEOs!

I have been fantasising about taking leave from my life, even if it is for a short while. Venture off to an adventure where I am anonymous and not accountable. Dangerous, I know. But what is a gal to do? S.O* and I are hoping to set a date for a wedding in March next year - the families will meet this Sunday to discuss it. Yeah, that is how my little ethnic community operates. Sigh. We want to get a house and make it into a home. I want to begin our life, under our roof and I cannot wait for that. Yet, me and marriage go together like wearing a bikini in a snow storm. I feel I am going against my very nature. (If you need to remember just how much I am against marriage, read this post.)

My dreams have also been vivid and downright odd. I've been waking up long before my alarm, recalling them perfectly, only to fall asleep and have the dreams fall through my memory. That makes me sad. I remember one dream could have been a great fictional story and now I cannot bloody remember it. I wish I could kick myself at times.

I have also been reading a lot less that what I usually do. This is not because I have a low supply of books. No, it is because I am too tired in the evenings! When I do read, I manage a few pages, before I realise I am not concentrating and the book is falling out of my hands. Another reason to kick myself!

This post perfectly reflects my state of mind: scattered, unfocused and downright grumpy.If you managed to read it till the end, a huge congratulations to you. Thanks for lending an eye to my venting session.

*S.O = Significant Other

Chocolate Monday: Week 2

Oh my word, this Monday is turning out to be annoying! Even though it is only 6:30am, the following has happened:

• The boom into my office parking lot did not open, after numerous attempts of inserting the access card. So I drove around the block again to speak to one of those attendants. "I will let my supervisor to meet you there," the idiot says. So I wait, and wait, and bloody wait some more. Eventually, I decided to park outside and walk up. Oh, I will have words with that parking office today! 
• The doors of the elevator refused to close. On the fifth attempt, they did though. The fifth attempt! 
• The milk in my cornflakes did not taste good at all. I had to spit it out and throw out my breakfast. I never really knew that Soy Milk can go bad...
• To top all of this off, I only got in about 4 hours sleep last night. I almost feel as if the universe is telling me that is is a day to stay under my duvet, where I can be safe from agitations. 

This Chocolate Monday oozes goodness. And I really need some of that to rub off onto me today. 

Chocolate Mondays have been created to banish Monday Blues, or at least lessen the sting of a new working week.  

Chocolate Monday: Week 1

I was not one of the scant cars on the road this morning, which means most people are back at work today. It could mean more of a shock to your system since it was a pretty long break for most people. I worked right through though, so a holiday is screaming for existence, but that is another blog post all on its own.

Drum roll, please, for the first Chocolate Monday of the new year! I reckon most people will feel like this today, especially today:

Picture sourced from Imgfave.
Chocolate Mondays have been created to banish Monday Blues, or at least lessen the sting of a new working week.  

Well, that's that, then!

What sort of a year has 2011 been? Personally, it's been filled with:
...denial, anger, pain, frustration, bitterness and hurt.
...hiding, isolation, loneliness, solitude and confusion.
...a blur of remorse and tears.
...a fight to keep the threads of my life sewn and to keep on breathing.
...forgetting my passions like writing, cooking, reading and blogging. Thereby forgetting myself too.

And because of all the above, the last two months or so has been filled with:
...rebirth, renewal and revitalisation.
...an re-awakening of all my senses.
...promises to build a better 2012 - and onwards.
...talk of engagements and weddings. (My own! Eek! God, help me!)
...hunting for a place to call home.

So I reckon 2012 has gotta be better - full of those sorta huge life changes. And I hope it is not my misguided optimism at this time of the year. Maybe S.O* and I are on our way to a Happily Ever After.

These two secrets from Postsecret  pulled at my heart:

Finally, a very happy new year to you! May 2012 fulfil every wish and dream, even those in the deep corners of your imagination. Shine and thrive, everyone!

*S.O= Significant Other

Chocolate Monday

This, quite obviously, does not apply to me - I am always eating chocolate. But does this apply to you? Image found here.
Chocolate Mondays have been created to banish Monday Blues, or at least lessen the sting of a new working week.  

Will you watch "Once Upon a Time"?

This new TV series, Once Upon a Time, premièred in the USA over the weekend. As readers of this blog will know, I simply adore fairy tales. And this is a creation from the makers of Lost so I expect it to be all sorts of intriguing and awesome. Now if only I can wish upon a star, or my Fairy Godmother, for this to get to South African television screens as fast as possible!

A tale of two bags

This beautiful, old Kodak bag was brought to work by a friend of mine. It was her grandfather's camera bag and even though the camera now makes for a lovely antique ornament, she uses the bag for her hard drive! I was instantly taken by it. Inside the flap, there is a cursive, calligraphy handwritten date and initials: "M.D.H.B.M 1914". These sort of old items carry such stories in them, even if we are unclear of what exactly they are. It's as if older items develop a more interesting personality as time marches on. And that makes it's beauty multi layered, mysterious, rugged and alluring.

This is the satchel I won from the lovely Being Brazen and AlexandraKate. This gorgeous bag made my knees weak and captivated me the minute I saw it. I also couldn't help but notice the striking similarities between the two bags, though the latter is new and it's history - only just beginning.

Birthday Loot

This wonderful e-card from S.O.*

The flowers, junk food stash, mini skirt and iPANEMA slops from the S.O* And just in time for the upcoming summer!

This lovely chocolate spa set from S.O's sister and brother-in-law. It's got lip gloss, fizz ball, a candle, lotion and a bar of soap - all chocolate flavoured. And a great little book on chocolate too. 

A photo frame from a friend at work 

And as a surprising bonus, I won the AlexandraKate bag from a give-away that ran on Being Brazen's blog. She's got a new give-away already - so enter! 

And I baked these mini savoury muffins, egg free! :)

More than the gifts though, I appreciate every warm wish I received, every call, every message. It really made my day. A huge THANK YOU to everyone! 

*S.O - Significant Other 

Chocolate Monday

OMG - words cannot express my excitement that there is a Lindt Chocolate Studio at Design Quarter in Johannesburg. And the cherry on the top is that we have just moved our work offices into Design Quarter! I am sure I will be very broke henceforth.

Chocolate Monday

What happens when a chocolatier and a musical band come together? The release of a limited edition chocolate record. For the full story from Oddity Central, which you will want to read: click here. Thanks Tara for sending this to me.