Monday, 1 August 2016

The insurmountable grief of losing a kitten

Grief is a path you walk alone,
So I've been told.

But you're not really alone, are you?
The dark, uneven road is plagued by scary monsters, those that freeze your bone marrow and leaves you paralysed.

There's Sadness, with a stench of rotting eggs. It weighs more than you can bear, sitting on your shoulders squealing and demanding a piggy back ride despite your unsteady balance and weak knees.

There's Anger, holding your left hand, making you wanna hit something, hit it really hard.
It's scales and spikes are hot as hell, burning your flesh.

Frustration has your right hand, making you feel so helpless and vulnerable.
It's suctioning trunk steals hope out of you.

And Loneliness, that's the ball and chain hampering each step.
It's steely, icy grip leaves you constantly shivering.

There's Guilt, making the path slick and slippery with its oil-like emissions spewing from it's fanged mouth.

But despite it all, take a step. Take it, you hear! Maybe you'll have to shuffle along. But this road needs to be treaded. And you know what, it's gonna be a slow, lonely, and arduous sojourn.

When you reach a certain point, maybe it'll be an end of some sort, Anger won't be as intense because it'll have cooled off,  Frustration a fraction of what it was because it's suction as diminished, Sadness and Loneliness dimmed to almost nothing. Guilt, a remnant.

All of it will probably always be with you, though, especially Sadness. But you have to have faith you'll be all the better for it. Believe in this journey, embrace the hurt, and keep on moving.

Even on those days you feel you've moved backward, or you slip and fall, pick yourself up, breath, and shuffle along. Pick. Yourself. Up.

And when you feel okay again, that cute, furry, black as coal kitten will most likely be proud of you.


RIP Coal, my darling kitten who died of FIP
Gone too soon on 25 July 2016.