Soundless words

listening to silence

more and more and more

shatters ear drums.

And the remains 

wilted, withered, wrinkled, awry

wrong

To do list

Time and thoughts can be one's enemies. They seems to fester off each other when you have an abundance. Since returning to South Africa and subsequently starting my life again (and job hunting) there are times I am exceptionally bored. It is extremely restrictive to be without a car and life feels quite caged in. So there, that is it at the moment...

...but wait, I decided to turn this around. Many people would love to have time on their hands. So part of me knows I am lucky. Though, I've done most of what I wanted to do since coming back, I am going to think deeper about things I always wanted to do but never had time to.

I am also going to formulate a list of possible articles I could write for a job that will come up.

And since cooking soothes my nerves, I will spend more time in the kitchen! Yes, cooking does calm me. Even though there are not many people available to eat what I prepare, maybe I can merely give the food away as well.

I've always wanted to get back into an exercise routine. I managed to tally up my at-home-equipment and I have quite a variety. So, I am going to try to make myself physically strong. My petite frame tends to leave me unable to open many a jar.

Maybe I could even try to learn something new - like tai chi. I went for one disastrous class in London and came away with a book. Better to embarrass myself with me as my only audience.

The Male Parental Unit occasionally allows me to make use of his wheels, so I think I should take full advantage when I do get the opportunity. And no, that does not meet clocking an insane speed limit next to the boundaries on the N1 highway.

And I think I began these changes on a fabulous note today - I made pancakes for breakfast.

Born too soon

The Parental Units love to see me cringe - they are always telling me when I was conceived. *cringe*blech!* Anyway that fateful day was the 5th February, while they visited India. The doctor estimated I would be born on the 31st October. How wonderful it would have been to have a Halloween birthday! But no, I was impatient and decided to say hello to the world today, 27 years ago.

Days such as today always make me take stock of my life. And recently I realised maybe it is patience I need to learn. The word alone makes me scowl mentally. I realised I've sorely lacked it because I always liked to get things done. And starting over again in South Africa takes time. Lots and lots of it. So along with learning patience (cringe), I want to think up new life goals so I can work towards something, anything...else I will drift around aimlessly like a burnt orange autumn leaf.

AWOL

Has my muse taken a leave of absence, leaving me barren, lost and idle? If anyone sees her, at whatever bar or club, please please let me know. My concern multiplies by the hour.

Wonderfully sarcastic

I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me.
- Chris Rapier

It's a kind of magic

When cheeks are dry from salt due to tears being shed much too frequent, a damn fine soak in a bubble bath is utmost priority. In the bowels of my toiletry draw I find...fairy dust*. It is the perfect addition for a magical makeover. Just half an hour, and my bones feel new, my skin aglow and the mental mugginess a bit more clear.

*very good bath salts, acting as this precious dust so rarely found in this day and age. C'mon, aren't you a believer?

Falling in love (again) is (still) hard on the knees

To all those who feel the urge to hurl at romance, a word of warning, do not read any further.

<3

As S.O. and I approach our eight year landmark tomorrow, I feel quite reflective at the moment. Thinking back on our year apart, I know we both have grown in different ways. Sure, we had the long distance thing going on, but it is easier since we are now both in the same country. It feels as if I am getting to know him again. And that means falling in love yet again. It makes me feel rather light headed and light footed at times. You know, giddy and giggly and all those horribly girly attributes.

Sure we had our awkward moments when I just returned from London. And yes, we will have more awkward moments and further challenges. But more than ever before, I feel there is hope. And I have faith...in both of us as individuals and in the relationship.

To my S.O. thank you for the past eight years! Our life together has been light and laughter and love...except when you make me angry enough to throw you out of a window of a 10 storey building. ;)

Last week...

I. Had. Breakfast. At. Tiffany's.

Pic: taken by Prixie at Madame Tussauds, London.

FYI: The breakfast was in South Africa. The Sister Person treated me.

A big bowl of blech

Italy versus Brazil in the Confederations Cup, Johannesburg, South Africa. Of course I went. Of course out of the eight people I went with, I was the lone Azzurri supporter...a solitary island of blue in a sea of green and yellow.It will always be the boys in blue for me. no questions asked. I think S.O and I made an interesting pair supporting opposing teams. Nevertheless I have to grudgingly admit they had the upper hand in the end with a 3-0 vistory. Even though the atmosphere at the stadium was filled with excitment, camaradie and jest, I felt drenched in disappointment at Italy's loss. I, for one, would like to think they were distracted by my presence. Sigh, a girl can dream....

*Kudos to the organisors and the friendly, helpful workers at the park and ride, the shuttle service and the stadium. I was gladly surprised by their effiency and friendliness.*

Return of the Prixie (sounds like a bad sequel)

Everything remained the same. The eyes I am seeing through is different though. Therefore I remain highly disoriented and confused. Sort of a permanent state of having just stepped off a roller coaster - woozy head, nausea and the world seeming up-side-down and inside-out.

Tomorrow...

Hippy Dippy Trail

If I could be a street sign...'cos normal people wish to be street signs at some point in their lives

Mallorca, Spain

Thrilling and tickling delights

Berate me - I know full well I have been neglectful, selfish and childishly indulgent for trying to forget to, erm, think...for trying to not face up to the inevitable. Things do not last forever and likewise my time in London draws to close. Sooner rather than later I will be back in SA. But at least I will once again have one of my vitals at my side: the S.O.

So perhaps Belgium was just what I needed: a soothing chocolate balm. A smell so sweet hovers over the country you want to eat the air and get the sides of your mouth sticky with oxygen. Perhaps I should move there because chocolate shops are like hundreds and thousands on a cupcakes (you know, those wee colourful sweetie thingies that decorate biscuits and/or cakes). Sense and speech took a fancy flight as I mumbled incoherently. I am sure there were a few pitiful stares that said: "Shame, the loon is out of the loony bin for a day visit."

And I still cannot decide whether the chocolate or the men* are yummier attraction of that country. Phew, tough decisions...

*A girl can look, even if there is an S.O whom she loves with all her heart...just a F.Y.I to you S.O fans. 

Great company for a midnight prowl

It is a Thursday night, 23.32, and oh whats that? My stomach makes a low growling sound. I feel like a bottomless pit lately because no amount of food seems to be enough. So I saunter down the stairs as quietly as possible for a bowl of cereal. I switch on the radio and R.E.M's Everyone Hurts is getting some airplay. I roll my eyes to the heavens and beyond. Okay Universe I know you're there! When you are feeling outta sorts, as I am lately, that song makes me want to jump over the bridge or pull the trigger. Whatever the method, that song will drive me to do it. Don't get me wrong, I think R.E.M are great and the song has meaning. But not when you are blue, suffering from both insomnia and exhaustion while eating cereal close to midnight.