As if my life does not have enough chocolate, I stumbled onto books about it.
And I just had to bring these to the attention of other bloggies.
Spectacle A: Better than chocolate: 50 proven ways to feel happier by (eejit) Siimon Reynolds
As the title would have it, there are no prizes for guessing what the book is about. My two word book review can be summed up as: WHAT SHITE! At the back of the book, they say: "Why fall back on chocolate when you can experience bliss?" Baawaaaahhaaa! CHOCOLATE = BLISS Obviously this Double-I-Siimon fellow has never in his sad life experienced the glory of chocolate. What an arse, a royal stupid man arse with his ostrich head in the sand. I did not bother to go past page 7.
Spectacle A: The Chocolate Run by Dorothy Koomson
I found this treasure at the most unlikely of places: The Crazy Store even though X did not mark the spot. But anyhoo, this is going to be far longer than a two word book review so read at your peril. I do not think guys will really fancy this one, being more chick lit than anything else. But these sort of books help ease the tension after a long, long, long day at the evil office.
It centres around Amber Salpone who as they say 'thinks in chocolate'. In fact, she is thee expert to tell you what chocolate you will be. Mind you this is what we used to do in high school according to how people looked: my best friend was Peppermint Crisp (because she was and still is uber stylish, chic and cool) then I was Milky Bar and the pimply kid was Whole Nut or Lunch Bar. Okay you get the picture...and now I need a bit of choccie... BACK IN 5... ahhhh, much better.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, so Amber is what I would call a Chocolate Guru, yes, with caps. She prefers to be called Total Chocolate Lover (TCL) to Chocoholic. Then there is obviously a guy in the portrait that messes up her simple cocoa flavoured life.
But here is the crux: has Dorothy inserted spy ware into my brain and created Amber? Brrrr...it gives me the chills. The similarities on most parts, especially when it comes to chocolate are uncanny. Only difference is I do not sneak into the confectionery aisles at supermarkets and read the ingredients before sniffing the chocolate. Yeah, it sounds crazy, buy honest, I have not.
And the thing that sealed it for me is that she even called her man Significant Other (SO)! *GASP* Yeah, that really convinced me that dear Dorothy has snuck into my head and observed my thoughts, my dreams and my natty ways.
It has been a delight to read, chuckle and watch Amber wolf down chocolate after chocolate.
And just to make things a bit fun, I decided to give a few bloggies their chocolate names. And ahem, I may be wrong, what with knowing most of you only from Bloggerville and not the old fashion way: in person.
Alright, whose first? Quit pushing the line already. If I have left you out, just send an irate message to me in the comment section and I will have your chocolate name in no time (if there is enough of you in your profile section too, LOL)
Saaleha, I dub thee Rum and Raison because you are sweet with a quirky twist and a 'naughty' side that rears its pretty head ever so often.
Fatima, I dub thee Cadbury with Biscuits because you are just sweet on the inside and out. And let us not forget your essence which seems to be pure kindness.
Jennifer, I dub thee Milky Bar with Rice Krispies because as a mum and wife you have that softness but your writing has that funny, witty edge to it.
Hamish, I dub thee Bar One because you always seem to have so much energy that shows in your writing. There are no hidden agendas with you and likewise with Bar One, there is no taste that sneaks up on you.
Bibi-Aisha, I dub thee a Health Bar simply because you do not have much chocolates and you all goodness.
K-Man, I dub thee Dipped Flake because you seem both solid and gentle - the best of both worlds.
Queen Lestat, I dub thee Dark Chocolate with Almonds because of your obvious love for things supernatural and mysterious but you also have a loving sweet side too.
qDEE, I dub thee Turkish Delight because you seem like such a softie and you always have these cute lil pics up on your blog.